Cute boy?

We met some folks at the park last week. It has been a very loose group of folks from L's old preschool who meet there every Tuesday morning. The weeks when I remember, it has been really nice to see folks and for L to play with some of old buddies.

This past Tuesday, we were watching some friends, a girl L's age and her older brother, who is six. He was VERY happy when one of his older buddies showed up with his dad and 3-year-old sister. The three girls commenced playing together as did the two older boys. The girls occupied themselves over under the pavilion doing dances on the "stage" (picnic table). The boys were busy with some game in a different part of the park.

The two sets of siblings seemed to be completely ignoring one another and only my little one seemed interested in bridging the gap. The older boys were leaving them completely alone (something I always liked as the youngest child with 3 older brothers) but L kept creeping over to the boys and then it took very little to get them trying to take her toy or flower or telling her to buzz off. I only intervened once (when it looked like some spiting might be happening--- gross!). Of course, the little sisters always came running to save their buddy from their evil older brothers.

At one point, I looked at L and thought to myself, "That looks a lot like flirting to me." I immediately put that idea out of my head as I can't stand it when people put all that boyfriend/girlfriend shit on toddlers who are just having fun together.

Later that day, I asked her how her day had been. She replied, "Good because Wyatt made it good." I quickly picked my jaw up off the floor and said something mumbly like, "He is a nice friend." She then started spilling the beans. She told me that she liked going to the park that day because of Wyatt and then she said, "He's really cute."

WTF?

I am thinking to myself, "I am not ready for this!" I asked, "Is he cute like a baby or cute like a big kid?" She replied that he is cute like a big kid and she likes him because he makes her smile and he smiles at her.

She brought him up several more times that day INCLUDING when Papa got home from work! When he asked about her day she talked about Wyatt and kept bringing him up whenever she could.

It seems to have passed but I guess she was flirting after all. Looking back, I think I have seen her flirt with as many girls as boys and usually I lump it all together with that older-kid-worship thing we have all seen.

I promise not to let my jaw completely drop to the floor again the next time she talks about someone being "cute" but I am SOOO not ready for boy-craziness. I am hoping for another decade before I have to tame that Wild Thing.

The Trashiest/Purtiest Gal in Show Business

I saw Dolly Parton last night and don't know how I will ever recover.

She was amazing! She is one of the best performers I have ever seen (possibly tied with Del McCoury, another "senior citizen" and Tennessean)! Her stage presence is unmatched by anyone-- from her sequins all the way down to her gorgeous gams. She came out for the first set in a sexy little blue sparkly number. She then went on to play a different instrument for every song-- from the banjo to the piano, from the tin whistle to the dulcimer (the dulcimer!). Her second set was all Dolly all over the place! She played the favorites like "9 to 5" and "Islands in a Stream". My favorite was "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?" You see, this was Part Three of our wedding anniversary celebration (Part 1: Dinner + Batman, Part 2: Long Walk + Dessert, Part 3: Dolly Parton, oh my!) That song is on love tape Stephen made for me years ago and it felt so good to sing along so loud with my boy and to watch her enjoy herself so much. She sang that song a cappella with the male members of her band and told stories of singing "back home" with all her brothers.

I was certainly excited to see her show but had NO IDEA what we were in for. She played for 2.5 hours (with one break for a fabulous wardrobe change). She must be over 60 years old and she ROCKED the house! She told wonderful stories in between each song, including some of my favorites: "My mama always had one in her or one on her." "I looked at that purty lady in town and said, 'Mama, when I grow up I want to be trash just like her.'"-- with allusions to my favorite: "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap." Not only can she sing like an angel, play a zillion instruments but she writes AMAZING songs!

On a more serious note, it made me think twice about how hard I resist L's love for all things sparkly and trashy. She is three and I need to lighten up a bit. If Dolly Parton is my idol and inspiration (check out inspiring new single with Amy Sedaris, my other idol, in the video), then I can trust that my little girl will be alright if she paints her fingernails red once in a while.

Finally, the show made me all mushy for my boy. Aside from the two 6-foot drag queens in the front row (who might have been prettier than Dolly herself), I don't know if there was another man there who enjoyed himself more than Stephen. He was the first to stand up in our section for the rowdy parts and knew all the words to most of the songs. I can count on a new Dolly CD most years from him and equally important, he is just as likely as me to put it in the CD player. I love my little Dolly Man and can't wait to until the day we pack the kids and the mini-van and head to Dollywood for a little slice of Appalachian Heaven.

PS-- I have decided that I still might be able to give in to a Barbie doll for L but would happily purchase a "Dolly Doll" for her. Let me know if you ever come across such an amazing creation.

Latenight Ramble

I am exhausted and it is late and I am finally done with all the things I "needed" to do tonight and yet here I am. I am thinking lots about my day tomorrow and it feels really big. I am making lists of things to take on our 1 night trip across the state. L is staying with G&G and the Man and I are going to see Dolly Parton perform with two of our bestest friends. We plan to eat yummy Lebanese food and remember our binoculars (as we have lawn seats). We'll be back to snuggle with L and wake up at G&G's house to a garden bursting with freshness and the entire day without the Man going to the Office. That is all very exciting. But something else is weighing on me and I am just starting to realize why I am finding all sorts of things to do and lists to make and not going to bed.

Tomorrow, I will see my mom (one of the G's) and she had a mastectomy last week and I don't know what on earth to do with that. I suppose I don't do anything but I have been shoving it out of my head and heart and only now am realizing that I am pretty freaked out about it all. She seems OK and relieved that is has been "taken care of" . She found out today that she will not require anything further like chemo or radiation. She is VERY relieved.

So... I am not sure what this rambling is all about or even what it should be called. I guess I need to acknowledge to myself and cyberspace (and my two devoted readers) that I am really freaked out and completely unsure of what to do or say or feel or think or ask.

I will try my best to remember to do more asking than telling, more listening than talking and to be gentle. I will give her a manicure and deliver her favorite bread (and hopefully her favorite coffee cake if Mackenzie's has a date/walnut one). I will arrive bearing the most important gift of all. A beautiful, smiling 3-year-old full of stories (she keeps trying to fake me out by telling me there is a frog or a toad in the house and I have fallen for it a few times) and questions (why?) and boundless toddler love.

Yes, we REALLY just want a healthy baby...

I am 21 weeks along. We went to see the midwife today and got to hear the heartbeat again. L does a FABULOUS impression of the sound. This kid is hopping all over the place. Just in the past few days, I can be sitting there and see all this crazy movement all over my belly--- like someone is doing some serious cardio in there.

It is pretty exciting. L and I agree that this feels like a boy to us. I have caught myself several times using the male pronouns. I need to watch myself, though. I really don't have a preference. People seem genuinely shocked (or mistrustful) when I say that. I don't think Papa cares either. So many of our friends and family have struggled through pregnancies and losses and challenging childbirth. We REALLY just want a healthy baby and so far, so good.

The Big Lake

Last weekend, we finally made it over to the Big Lake (Lake Michigan). We live one hour from South Haven so we were able to set out on a whim without much planning.

We headed up to one of our favorite "secret spots" just north of the town of Glenn. (OK, I'll tell you, loyal reader. It is an Allegan county park called "West Side"or "Westport" or something. It has toilets and a playground but isn't ever TOO busy for us.)

The beaches near South Haven are just too jam-packed (think Miami Beach) for our tastes. Moon had a blast getting buried by Papa. The water was actually bearable (usually way too cold for me). The waves were huge and the rip current was rather exciting. Moon had one of those arse-over-head moments near the shore but thankfully Papa was within an arm's reach and scooped her up. Other than all the sand in her ears, she didn't seem to mind too much. It was the perfect "Family Day"-- it really was. One of those mushy days when I was just so in love with both of them, ya know?