Our Very Own Red Tent

My birthday was last week. for my "girls' night out" portion of the multi-week celebration, I wanted to host a Red Tent Event. Really, I had finally gotten my hands on the library's copy of "The Business of Being Born" and wanted to host a viewing of it. I have a few friends who are pregnant (well, one just had her babe yesterday) and obviously, I was interested in seeing the film again with a different (read: pregnant) perspective.

So... I invited a bunch of women over for a Sunday night viewing. Stephen made heaps of fresh popcorn (he makes FABULOUS popcorn), put the kiddo to bed and made himself scarce.

Strangely enough, the women who showed up were not all from my normal little circle nor were they women who knew each other (rare for little ole Kalamazoo). There were several women from the neighborhood and some of my normal posse-- all of them VERY cool women with very different childbirth stories.

We watched the film, ate tons of popcorn, drank some red wine and then had an amazing conversation following the film. We all stayed up WAY too late considering it was a Sunday and most of us (but not all) had kids to get to school the next day. We shared our various stories, ranging from many medical interventions to smooth home births, from one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage to those who swore they would NEVER go through childbirth again.

I shared my perspective of near orgasmic euphoria during and after the birth. I loved it, I really did. I feel like I loved every second of it. Every once in a while, I check in with Stephen or with my dear friend Gina who was there with us. They assure me that I did love it. I did not block out any traumatic moments in which I screamed for drugs or cussed out Stephen . They assure me that it was hard but I just kept working and they corroborate my own stories of really digging on being pregnant and giving birth. I feel really lucky.

I attribute a lot of that experience to Ina May Gaskin. I am sure I am not the only one in the world as that woman has helped 1000's of women find their power. My connection feels unique to me in that I had never heard of Ina May. When I found out I was pregnant, I went immediately to my source for information--- the public library. I looked up birth and went to the general section. I had been warned by someone to stay away from those "What to Expect" books as they were supposedly filled with terrifying "what if's". So, I just started looking through the second floor stacks. I saw an older version of Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery and loved the beautiful cover. I grabbed that one and plopped right down in the aisle and started reading. Although I chuckled at first at the photos of all the HAIR, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the amazing, powerful birth stories. I decided right then and there that was the kind of birth I wanted and I spent the rest of my pregnancy reading the stuff that helped me get there and staying away from the more mainstream stuff that I felt might get in my way. That first day, I learned about "horse lips" and the Sphincter Law. I truly believe that Ina May's crazy ideas about making out during labor and "loving the baby out of you" are where it's at.

On a side note, I went home and gushed to Stephen about my new discovery. I showed him some photos in the book. He said, "I think I went there when I was a kid. Yeah, I did. We went to the Farm. I remember lots of kids and we all just ran around together free." There is a great photo in that book of a little naked long-haired blonde kid running away and it could very well be my little Stephen-- naked and free.