screaming baby... broken can opener (wtf? it is brand new. this is our 4th can opener in as many months. is it a conspiracy? is it a user error?) momentary freak out
called hubby at work. should not have. he probably thinks i am going to jump off the roof. a little slice of my day
Dark Chocolate makes it all melt away... mmmmm...
(written with one hand while holding 12 pounds of sweet sweet sleeping love)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Those First Smiles
Makes it all worth it... He woke up with HUGE smiles this morning, despite the ultra-soggy diaper the poor kid was sitting in. These moments make me forget all the frustration of the middle of the night.
All's Quiet
Whew! It is Friday. Been a long week. Little T has been stuffed up so sleep is hard to come by-- for both of us. I tried putting him in his carseat in the night so he was more upright. Poor little guy kicked off all of his blankets and woke up with cold little icicle hands.
L has been dragging her feet (literally) in the mornings for the first time. She'll even stop right outside her classroom and refuse to budge. Her teacher, whom she adores, has to come out in the hallway and cajole her into the room.
So... today she is playing hooky. All of her Public School Friends have the day off, presumably for Record Day (trying explaining that concept to a 4-year-old Montessorian). She was invited to a little party at Bounceland. I've never been there but I think it is just like it sounds--- Hell on Earth or at least Purgatory.
Our dear friends just picked her up and took her to it. We'll meet up with everyone after for pb&j lunch and possible snow play. It is downright balmy today at 33 degrees.
I am actually showered and dressed and so is Tommy. He is asleep and it is 10 am and I feel like today is going to be a good day. I have had some rough ones this week and last. Just so sensitive and exhausted.
I was supposed to have two of my closest friends over Wednesday night at 8:30. I texted them at 8:15 and cancelled. I felt like if either of them walked in and asked me how I was doing, I would have melted right into the carpet never to be heard from again. So, I cancelled. They were so understanding and are now checking on me lots. I am glad for that. I never gave a second thought to the Baby Blues with first kid but now find myself "on the verge" often.
I am OK. I just need to be careful. The winter weather is a good excuse and I could easily isolate myself completely right now. But I went for a walk in the snow with another mom friend and babe the other day. I will meet up with friends and kids later after Bounceland. I find that I just get down on myself so much lately. I didn't do this, didn't finish that.
My folks were over yesterday and even my MOM said, "no one expects that with a new baby. Give yourself a break." She always thinks everyone should have a clean house and a healthy meal on the table. They were great. Grandpa got down and played with L lots and Grandma snuggled baby (to give my aching back a break) and cooked a beautiful dinner AND folded and put away a bunch of laundry. I am very lucky.
Oh yeah! My biggest accomplishment yesterday--- I have been meaning to mail some Christmas and New Baby gifts since BEFORE my kid showed up in early December. Yesterday I made it to the Post Office (with the help of G&G) and off they went along with several other things ---- like a belated birthday present for one of my 3 loyal readers :-)
Today is a fresh day and I am feeling ready for it!
L has been dragging her feet (literally) in the mornings for the first time. She'll even stop right outside her classroom and refuse to budge. Her teacher, whom she adores, has to come out in the hallway and cajole her into the room.
So... today she is playing hooky. All of her Public School Friends have the day off, presumably for Record Day (trying explaining that concept to a 4-year-old Montessorian). She was invited to a little party at Bounceland. I've never been there but I think it is just like it sounds--- Hell on Earth or at least Purgatory.
Our dear friends just picked her up and took her to it. We'll meet up with everyone after for pb&j lunch and possible snow play. It is downright balmy today at 33 degrees.
I am actually showered and dressed and so is Tommy. He is asleep and it is 10 am and I feel like today is going to be a good day. I have had some rough ones this week and last. Just so sensitive and exhausted.
I was supposed to have two of my closest friends over Wednesday night at 8:30. I texted them at 8:15 and cancelled. I felt like if either of them walked in and asked me how I was doing, I would have melted right into the carpet never to be heard from again. So, I cancelled. They were so understanding and are now checking on me lots. I am glad for that. I never gave a second thought to the Baby Blues with first kid but now find myself "on the verge" often.
I am OK. I just need to be careful. The winter weather is a good excuse and I could easily isolate myself completely right now. But I went for a walk in the snow with another mom friend and babe the other day. I will meet up with friends and kids later after Bounceland. I find that I just get down on myself so much lately. I didn't do this, didn't finish that.
My folks were over yesterday and even my MOM said, "no one expects that with a new baby. Give yourself a break." She always thinks everyone should have a clean house and a healthy meal on the table. They were great. Grandpa got down and played with L lots and Grandma snuggled baby (to give my aching back a break) and cooked a beautiful dinner AND folded and put away a bunch of laundry. I am very lucky.
Oh yeah! My biggest accomplishment yesterday--- I have been meaning to mail some Christmas and New Baby gifts since BEFORE my kid showed up in early December. Yesterday I made it to the Post Office (with the help of G&G) and off they went along with several other things ---- like a belated birthday present for one of my 3 loyal readers :-)
Today is a fresh day and I am feeling ready for it!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Postpartum Bubbles and Bulges
Getting VERY tired of wearing black speckled with spit up. Still wearing quite a few stretched out items of maternity wear--yuck.
I don't remember a single day during my pregnancy of feeling anything less than gorgeous. I really dig the growing belly and the full round hips and breasts.
Today, however, I am feeling rather bedraggled and homely. I support the notion that "it takes 9 months to put it on, give yourself 9 months to take it off". I am not really so hard on myself about weight or anything. It is just so hard to find anything to cover up in, be warm in, easily nurse in AND look moderately cute in. My main problem are these big boobs. I was a 32G during my pregnancy and things have grown! I can't find anything in this town that is comfy and covers and supports. I am skittish about ordering anything online for $75 + shipping. I have not had much success with bra and swimsuits online.
Anyway, my ill-fitting bras make everything bumpy and eliminate most of my comfy stretchy shirts. I need to do a serious closet-cleaning but shouldn't probably do it when I feel like this. Who am I kidding? I can't even manage to WASH the clothes we have, much less clean closets!
The boy is fabulous! He really is. I wouldn't trade any of it for a minute but I would like to feel cute for a few minutes. (I did buy some new shirts last week but it has been 3 degrees! I wear my black fleece with spit up on it every day!)
I don't remember a single day during my pregnancy of feeling anything less than gorgeous. I really dig the growing belly and the full round hips and breasts.
Today, however, I am feeling rather bedraggled and homely. I support the notion that "it takes 9 months to put it on, give yourself 9 months to take it off". I am not really so hard on myself about weight or anything. It is just so hard to find anything to cover up in, be warm in, easily nurse in AND look moderately cute in. My main problem are these big boobs. I was a 32G during my pregnancy and things have grown! I can't find anything in this town that is comfy and covers and supports. I am skittish about ordering anything online for $75 + shipping. I have not had much success with bra and swimsuits online.
Anyway, my ill-fitting bras make everything bumpy and eliminate most of my comfy stretchy shirts. I need to do a serious closet-cleaning but shouldn't probably do it when I feel like this. Who am I kidding? I can't even manage to WASH the clothes we have, much less clean closets!
The boy is fabulous! He really is. I wouldn't trade any of it for a minute but I would like to feel cute for a few minutes. (I did buy some new shirts last week but it has been 3 degrees! I wear my black fleece with spit up on it every day!)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Day Three of My New Life
Today is Wednesday. L went back to school on Monday and Papa returned to work.
The Boy is sleeping quietly in his carseat thingy. We just returned from dropping L off at school. This was the first morning I had to do all that by myself and she actually made it there on time! I think it was because I had this relaxed mindset that if she is late, it is just preschool.
So, the Boy slumbers away. I should wake him up. I am actively trying to get him to sleep a bit more at night and that means waking him up during the day if he is snoozing too long. Yesterday was a "good day". Monday had been pretty rough. He was gulping a lot of air and after a long talk with the lactation consultant at the hospital, I implemented all sorts of new things. Basically, he had a shitty latch and I had let him do it for a month. So he had these horrible tummy aches and would throw up entire feedings sometimes. I had crazy sore nipples and was just putting up with it. So Monday, he and I fought a lot. He was pissed b/c I kept taking him off until he would get it right-- a really tough learning curve and many tears were shed--- mine and his.
Yesterday was better. He seems to eat less- probably just more efficient at it. My let-down is not so crazy and gushing. My milk production is straightening itself out.
He actually slept a lot last night. We all went to bed at 11pm (I always have these grand intentions of going to bed at 9 but from 9-11 seems to be a rough time for him--- very hungry and fussy). Anyway, in bed at 11pm, up at 2am... I nursed in bed and fell asleep-- probably not a great feeding. Again at 4am and then at 7:20am. Not too bad, for us...
This morning was fine actually. The Man had an early meeting so I actually got up and going. L started out cranky but quickly shifted to her usual pleasant, dancing self. She and I even had some play time as the Boy fell back asleep after he got his diaper changed.
I don't want to jinx myself but I am pretty damn proud of ourselves for this morning. No fights-- no blowups-- is this possible every day?
The biggest complaint/question I had was about taking this little baby out in the cold. I hate carrying him around in that damn car carrier--- more of a wrap mama myself. But it is so damn cold out and it seems better to keep him bundled up in there.
It seems like many parents at the L's school leave younger siblings in the warm car (running) while they take big kids in. That feels weird/unsafe to me. Am I a total freak? Oh well. I guess I will just keep carrying that heavy-ass thing in and out and when spring comes, I can walk them to school or at least carry the Boy in w/o the carseat contraption.
The Boy is sleeping quietly in his carseat thingy. We just returned from dropping L off at school. This was the first morning I had to do all that by myself and she actually made it there on time! I think it was because I had this relaxed mindset that if she is late, it is just preschool.
So, the Boy slumbers away. I should wake him up. I am actively trying to get him to sleep a bit more at night and that means waking him up during the day if he is snoozing too long. Yesterday was a "good day". Monday had been pretty rough. He was gulping a lot of air and after a long talk with the lactation consultant at the hospital, I implemented all sorts of new things. Basically, he had a shitty latch and I had let him do it for a month. So he had these horrible tummy aches and would throw up entire feedings sometimes. I had crazy sore nipples and was just putting up with it. So Monday, he and I fought a lot. He was pissed b/c I kept taking him off until he would get it right-- a really tough learning curve and many tears were shed--- mine and his.
Yesterday was better. He seems to eat less- probably just more efficient at it. My let-down is not so crazy and gushing. My milk production is straightening itself out.
He actually slept a lot last night. We all went to bed at 11pm (I always have these grand intentions of going to bed at 9 but from 9-11 seems to be a rough time for him--- very hungry and fussy). Anyway, in bed at 11pm, up at 2am... I nursed in bed and fell asleep-- probably not a great feeding. Again at 4am and then at 7:20am. Not too bad, for us...
This morning was fine actually. The Man had an early meeting so I actually got up and going. L started out cranky but quickly shifted to her usual pleasant, dancing self. She and I even had some play time as the Boy fell back asleep after he got his diaper changed.
I don't want to jinx myself but I am pretty damn proud of ourselves for this morning. No fights-- no blowups-- is this possible every day?
The biggest complaint/question I had was about taking this little baby out in the cold. I hate carrying him around in that damn car carrier--- more of a wrap mama myself. But it is so damn cold out and it seems better to keep him bundled up in there.
It seems like many parents at the L's school leave younger siblings in the warm car (running) while they take big kids in. That feels weird/unsafe to me. Am I a total freak? Oh well. I guess I will just keep carrying that heavy-ass thing in and out and when spring comes, I can walk them to school or at least carry the Boy in w/o the carseat contraption.
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